20 week ultrasound

I just came back from my 20 week ultrasound. The ultrasound tech said you look good. You are measuring on time at 20 weeks and 3 days and you are 12oz. I have to go back in a few weeks for another detail ultrasound because you are still so small and mommy is fat.

Your Aunt Fiki, your sister Ava, and cousins Michael and Gavin came to see you on the ultrasound. It is offical you are a GIRL. The tech gave all the kids bracelets that say "It's a girl!" Ava is beyond excited. This week your name is Tangled Rapunzel Little Mermaid Jello Gunter. :-)

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Sneak Peak

Yesterday while I was at work I talked my favorite ultrasound tech Rich into letting  me see a sneak peak of you before my 20 week ultrasound on December 27th. As much as I would love for you to be a "surprise" like your daddy does....I can't stand it. I want to know so I don't have to dwell on the perfect name for the opposite sex than I am having.

Well, you were head up and bottom down, so but your legs were wide open. Because of the quality of the image and the way you were positioned....he could not say 100%, but he said if he guessed you are a GIRL!!! He seen no sign of boy parts, but could not clearly see the girl parts either. Hopefully I will know for sure that you are a girl next week!!

Mommy will be happy with a boy or a girl, but I know Ava is going to be super happy for a baby sister. LOL I don't know how she will feel about you when you are teenagers though. I was thinking this morning as I laid in bed with all my babies and daddy what life will be like in 10 years. Ava will be nearly 5 years older than you. Your brothers almost 3. I wonder if you will be the baby or if I am crazy enough to have anymore. I guess only time will tell.

I am feeling little flutters about once a day sometimes less now. I look forward to seeing you again in a week.

18 week appointment

Mommy went to the doctor yesterday. You had a nice strong heart beat. I find out on December 27th if you are a boy or a girl. No flutter movements lately. I can't wait until I start feeling you kick everyday. Mommy has recently joined some groups on facebook. (I wonder if facebook will still be around when you are old enough to read this :-)) One is called the Rainbow Room and mommy has also been on a group called Triplet Loss Mommies since you brother died. There have been several moms on the group that recently announced new pregnancies. I am excited I have some (cyber) friends that will be able to support me during this journey to your healthy birth. It is heart breaking reading all the stories of parents that have lost a child before or after they were born.

I am totally paranoid that something bad is going to happen. I continue to pray against it every day. It is not just about your well being, but your brothers, your sister, daddy and myself. I have turned into a  total paranoid freak.

Note: your sister is "exercising" in the living room naked while I write this. LOL

I'm trying not to obcess with the fetal doppler to find your heart beat everyday. Just makes me more anxious when it taken me 30-45 minutes to find it. After the ultrasound in 2 weeks I have another appointment with the OB doctor on January 12th. I guess the next big update will be when I find out what you are. I keep thinking of the perfect baby name, but now I am trying to hold off until I know if you are a boy or a girl so I am not stressing about a name I will not need :-)

I love you. Stay safe and keep growing in there.

This weeks BabyCenter.com pregnancy info:
Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

18 weeks!

Okay little baby we are 2 weeks from being 1/2 way there. Mommy thinks she felt the 1st flutter coming from you this past Thursday. I also finally got my doppler back from a friend. I found you on Saturday night. I had a hard time, but once I found you I could feel you moving away from the doppler pushing down on my abdomen.

Daddy told his parents about you on Sunday and I told a few more friends....secret is getting out, but the world does not know yet :-) Mommy has a doctor appointment this Thursday. Hope I get to find out soon if you are a boy or a girl. I love you!

I heard your heart beat today...

I am 14 weeks today...only 182 days until full term :-) Yesterday I used the Doppler at work and finally heard your heart beat. It was 155 beats per minute. What a relief. I have spent so much time preparing for the worst, building a wall for all the "what ifs" that can happen, that I have done nothing but worry if you are still there. I can't wait to start feeling you kick and move everyday so I will be less paranoid.

I worry so much about having to bury another child. I hope I can get over this soon. Just the thought of loosing you, your sister or your brothers takes my breath away all over...even though I have walked this path before, I can still never imagine it happening to me again. I took care of a patient yesterday, she was older in her 70's. She was probably in better health than me though. She came in with a complaint about her diabetes not being under control even though her blood sugar was only 149 (70-100 being normal) She was also complaining about vision issues. Her eyes were all puffy and swollen. After speaking with her for a little bit, the truth came out. Her daughter who is in her 50's was on the palliative care floor and was not expected to live through the weekend. Her daughter has pancreatic cancer. This is her only child. Watching this mother crying here eyes out for her adult daughter whom was dying was heart wrenching to me. I shared my story with her. We laughed together, she cried, her sister cried, it took everything in me to hold back tears. Just shows no matter how old you baby is, it just seems unnatural to have to bury a child before the mother and father. My heart goes out to her tonight. I will probably never know how long her daughter will make it, but she touched my heart yesterday.

I go to the doctor again on Thursday. Probably not going to be a very exciting visit. I am sure I will get to hear your heart beat again and they will measure my uterus for growth. I am hoping the December visit will be the BIG visit you should be big enough at that point to find out if you are a boy or a girl. I should be able to see you better on the ultrasound. I am excited for December. By then I should be around 18 1/2 weeks. They can normally tell the sex by 16 weeks but sometimes they wait until 20 weeks to do the ultrasound. I hope they don't make me wait until January :-P Love you!

Nohing New.........

I am suppose to have a glucose tolerance test. I am procrastinating and have not done it. I was suppose to do it the beginning of last week and the week before that I think. I am very paranoid. I ended up telling another co-worker about you at work last Sunday. I tried to listen to you heart rate via Doppler on Sunday. Me nor could 2 other people find you heat beat. Normal woman can hear a baby's heart beat between 10-12 weeks, but larger woman like myself may have more trouble....this still scares me because I could hear you sister and you brothers' heart beats. I still have all the normal pregnancy symptoms. Sore boobs, aching body, nausea, morning sickness...so I still believe you are still with me...I am just very nervous after what happened to me when I was pregnant with your 3 brothers. I believe in you and I am trying to believe in myself that we will make it though this pregnancy and live a long happy life together. I am not suppose to be able to feel your movement yet, but I swear I feel tiny little flutters on my left side where my pain has been since the beginning. I think that is where you planted your roots.

This week if you are a girl I am still loving the name Nora Rose Gunter. Ava likes it too. Your dad, not so much. I am still very stumped for a boy name. Oh well if you are a boy it will come with time.
I will be 13 weeks on Sunday and I go back to my next appointment mid-November. I think it is the 16th but I don't remember at the moment. I love you and hopefully in the next few weeks I will  really start feeling you move.

1st OB visit

I had my 1st OB visit on the 19th. I went to ultrasound 1st. I got to really see you for the 1st time. You wiggled around a little bit. Your heart beat was 167 beats per minute and you are 1 1/2 inches long. You are so much bigger than you were just a few weeks ago. It was exciting seeing you look like a tiny human in their finally and not a grey flicker in the corner of a sac. They say you are growing perfect. I still can't decide if you are a boy or a girl. When I had Ava I was sure the triplets were going to be all girls. So, when they all turned out to be boys now I find myself being sure you are a boy. Ava still insist you are a girl and that your name is Nora this week.

I go back to the doctor in a month, but no ultrasound. I have a glucose test on Tuesday since I had gestational diabetes with the triplets.

Nothing else is really going on. Mommy still has a lot of aches and pains from you growing, but they are better than they were. There is a lot of suspicious people asking if you are in my belly. You would think people would not be so in tuned with another person cycle. My friend Christine (I'm not sure if I mentioned she lives with us right now) keeps telling me how I have not had a period this month and hears me vomit. She keeps asking how far along I am...but I am not ready to spill the beans. Your grandma all the way in Alabama keep asking about you to. I have told them nothing...I have a feeling your Aunt Fiki has secretly spilled the beans.

People I have told:
In the order I told them: Your dad, Ava, Jill Commander, Tanya Gomez, Kristina Croft, then Ava told Aunt Fiki...who then told Aunt Tabetha, Israel, and I'm sure Aunt Brandy. Then I told my friend Karen and that is it...people who think they know is Christine, Grandma Beth, and Aunt Sarah.

Your 1st printed ultrasound picture

A better view of you.

Another ultrasound

This morning I had another ultrasound. Ava went with me. Before they even inserted the vaginal wand Ava was like "Oh I see her she is so cute...look at her cute little shirt." ha ha ha Today you were still very very tiny, but there is a weeks growth since last time. You are measuring behind a little. My last period (which I know is correct) has you at 7 weeks 3 days with a due date of May 13,2012. So, I was expecting to see a whole lot bigger baby on the screen. Instead just the same little flicker up in the corner of the sac. You are really hiding up there. They could not autobily hear your heart beat today, but they were able to see the little flicker on the screen better and trace how fast it is going. Your heart beat is 130 beats per minute...so if the old wives tails are true you are a boy if your heart beat stays under 150...which was so not true with the triplets...they were 150-175 a lot. I'm glad Ava got to see your tiny heart beat on the screen. She really has no clue what is going on, but she was so excited she thought you were coming out soon. She can't grasp that you won't be here for another 7 or so months. Next appointment is on the 29th of September...not a doctor appointment though just the money appointment.

Blueberry

So you are the size of a blueberry this week.

"Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry."

I have another ultrasound on Tuesday. Hopefully you dad will get to meet you via ultrasound this week. I hope you are not hiding again. I want to see your little heart beating.

Mommy is still having a lot of cramping. Mainly on the left side. This must be the part of the uterus you have implanted in...I'm going to ask on Tuesday if they can tell where you are. All I know is that I have a near constant dull pain on my left lower side.

Mommy will be 28 years old tomorrow. Wow time flies when you are having fun. I had a great day with your Aunt Fiki and Aunt Tabby and ALL OUT CHILDREN plus a few. We went to Lake Eva water park in Haines City 3 adults vs. 12 children. I had a really good time. Your aunts and older cousins carried Jacob around so I could have some quality swim time with Andrew and Ava. Just think next year this time you will be almost 4 months old! You would probably be to little for me to take you to a public water park. I look forward to the months to follow. I can't wait to hold you. Maybe I will be a stay at home mommy by then.

6 weeks 2 days

Today I had a follow-up appointment regarding your progress and the intense pain I continue to have in the pelvic area. I feel like you are a full term baby not the size of a lentil bean. This is apparently how big you are this week.


Seeing that this is much bigger than last Monday I expected to see more on the ultrasound today. I was actually really nervous when I seen the what appeared to be an empty sac on the ultrasound screen. After much zooming and maneuvering of the vaginal probe I think we found you. Just a tiny little dot up against the wall of your sac with the slightest flicker of a heart beat. You are so very tiny that the machine could almost not detect you. Usually the heart beat can be heard via ultrasound, but they were not able to track yours. It gives me hope knowing that there is a possible tiny heart beat beating away inside of me. Praying you are growing bigger and stronger every day.

My next appointment is on September 29th, but it is not with the doctor or for an ultrasound. Instead it is when they tell me how much you are going to cost me to have prenatal care and for delivery.

There is so much worry going on right now. I have a meeting at work to basically tell all the LPNs how long we have to become RNs before we are fired. I wonder if I should just quit, cut the bills and stay at home....actually considering living off the government....everyone makes it so hard to live these days why not just jump on the band wagon and live like a large percent of the country. Health insurance makes it near impossible to pay for it without large out of pocket costs..especially with you brother Jacob and all his medical issues.

So the cat is out of the bag a little bit. Apparently Aunt Fiki's boyfriend Israel has baby radar...he apparently told Tricia "She looks like she is pregnant" last week. ha ha ha whatever. She has been asking me for a week if I was pregnant, so I let Ava tell her yesterday. She has pledge a vow of silence...except for Israel.

Ava is so very excited to have you in her life. She still insists that you are a girl and  I can not tell her other wise. If I say "what if it is a boy" she says "well, what if your wrong? What if its a girl?!" She has named you already. 1st your name was Jennifer. I told her you could not be named Jennifer, she insisted you be named after me...ha ha ha. Then your name became Jello...Jello has been a notorious baby name in the Gunter house hold. Every baby Ava has in her "belly" since she was 2...sometimes she reports 10 babies in he belly...they are all named Jello. After I told her Jello was not an option she changed your name to Jessica Nichole Gunter. Daddy likes this name. She changed your name to Carlie, but then back to Jessica...who knows. I told her she had to pick a boy name to. After much debate she decided to name you after her "boyfriend" a teenage singer popular with 4 year olds...your name is Justin Bieber Gunter

This is Ava's super star boyfriend...I don't even think she know 1 song by him, but she "loves" him because her friends do...She just seen me put this picture up here and announced Justin Bieber! I love him!

Went to the Doctor

Baby Poppy seed,                       Mommy went to the doctors office today. Well, I actually did not see the doctor, but the nurse. You have probably learned by now if you are reading this, that mommy has a bit of an anxiety problem. I have had a lot of cramping and my blood pressure was really high at work on Sunday 164/92. The nurse checked it today and it was 117/73. They also drew my blood to check the hormone levels.

I spoke with the nurse, she had me come in last minute today for an ultrasound. I downed about 64oz of water in hopes I would be able to see you and a tiny heart beat on the ultrasound. Well, I did get to see the little sac you will be growing in over the next 8 months, but she did not see your little heart beating yet. I will go back in a month or so for my 1st appointment with the doctor. Hopefully daddy and I will get to see you then. Mommy continues to pray for you every day that you continue to grow every day.

I love you, Mommy

Welcome to existance little poppy seed

I found out about you on Sunday September 4, 2011. I was actually really suprised! This will make you gag when you are older, but I knew there was "exposure" during the danger time..i.e. ovulation time. You dad and I wanted you, but really didn't think it would happen nor are we really prepared to have you with everything else going on which I will elaberate about soon. Anyway, like I said I have always had a "feeling" when I was pregnant in the past. I just knew I was before I even took the test. This time I was do for my cycle to start on a Saturaday. Thursday there was some light spotting and I thought it was the start of the monster. Then it stopped. This was not the 1st time this has happened so I thought nothing of it. Saturday I came to work prepared I went and once again some spotting and then I was for sure I was starting my cycle. By the end of my 12 hour work day, nothing! I was cramping and hungry and all out feeling as if I was gong to start. Sunday morning I woke up, peed in a cup and used a $1 Dollar Tree test that has been in the cabinet for probably 8 months or more. I took a shower while I waited for the results. This was also the 1st kind of test I took when I found out I was pregnant with you brothers....it looked negative, I threw it away and pulled it from the trash a few days later after I more expensive test proved posative and sure enough uppon closer examination that test was too posative.

So I look at the test I peed on for you. The very very faintest of lines to show a posative result was showing. I was actually unsure if there was a line or not. I thew the test in the box and hide it back under the bathroom sink cabinet and left for work. Thought out the day I made your dad go back and check the test just to see if the line was more prominet of not. I was very anxious all day. Couldn't wait to get off work to buy a expensive test to see what it said. I like the digital test that say yes or no. With your sister I took 11 test...or was it 13.....with your brothers it was atleast 6. This time I bought a 2 pack of Clear Blue Easy tests. I had to pee so bad when I got home. Ran to the bathroom box in hand with your brother and sister following behind screaming 'MOMMY!" I did not have time to read the directions so before I could pull the test out, I was going to pee myself, so I grab the cup I peed in earlier that morning and pee in it again....I know you really wanted to know. Dipped the pee stick in the urine and waited.....waited.....waited....and was seemed like forever an entire 3 minutes...the digital result popped up YES+! I made your dad go with me to the bathroom for the results. He looked at it trying to hold a strait face. I love watching him trying to hold back his happiness...I don't know why, but he does it all the time. He smiles and repeatedly tries to cover up the fact that he is smiling. ha ha

You are apprently the size of that tiny poopy seed next to the quarter!

This is what I have learned about your developement this week. 4 weeks: Baby is the size of a poppy seedYour baby -- now officially an embryo.  From now until 10 weeks, all of your baby's organs will begin to develop and some will even begin to function.

Let me tell you a little about our family and what you will be getting into.....thanks for choosing us to be your parents. I hope we do the best job we can do to mold you into a great person.

Your sister Ava. She was born June 6, 2007 at 39 weeks. Mommy planned her...."daddy's life was over" when he found out about her. He was scared the entire uneventful pregnancy with her. She was induced because I could not wait for her to get here. She was born after 12 hours of laber. I was so scared. All I could think about when she came out was "Oh crap, I have to take care of it." She was funny looking when she was born, face all squished and cone head. Being a new mom I was scared, after a few weeks I decided I could not live without her. She is 4 now. She knows about you. I told her it was a secret. She is so excited. She tells me you are going to be her little sister....I guess only time will tell.

I told you she was funny looking!

Ava now

When your sister was 8 months old we were moving into our 1st home. I was pregnant. I was very early pregnant, like I am with you right now. That little poppy seed did not stay. Mommy lost that pregnancy when we were moving into our house in Febuary 2008.

Almost a year to the month of my miscarriage, mommy found out she was pregnant again. About 6 1/2 weeks I went to the doctor due to lots of cramping. I thought I was having another miscarriage. They stuck the ultrasound wand in and seen a perfect little baby with a perfect heart beat. You dad tells the lady to find another one that he wants twins. I laugh and say there is no way there is twins in there. I do not know anyone in my family with twins. Sure enough she turns the wand and finds a 2nd baby!. We get the congrats! TWINS! I am freaking out. We leave shocked!. I go again at 8 weeks and hear congrats twins! At 9 weeks I had an ultrasound at work...just for fun. He found a 3RD BABY! Yes Triplets! This pregnancy was a total accident by the way....to make long story short, that I am sure you will know by the time you are even able to read what I am writing. 2 of your brothers developed twin to twin transfusion. They were identical twins. Then your other brother Andrew was fraternal. That means mommy released 2 eggs and 1  split to make 2 babies from 1 egg. They were born very early at 28 weeks. They were born July 18, 2009

Baby A. Logan. We delivered the triplets to try and save him. He was dying inside and we thought they would all have the best chance of life on the outside. 28 week babies had a 90% survival rate at that time. He lived for 6 months and 12 days. He died from respiratory failure on January 30, 2010. I miss him every day, every breath I take.

This picture was taken in December 2009

Baby B. Jacob. He did very well in the hospital. 3 days before he left the hospital we found out he had massive brain damage. We don't know how the damage occured, but it is pointless to dwell on that now....he has spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy. He is 2 now. He is still very infant like. He no longer eats by mouth. He is fed though a g-tube in his stomach. He holds his head up, but has little control of his body, arms, or legs. He can not sit, stand, walk, etc.

This was taken the day he got his wheel chair. August 31, 2011

Baby C. Andrew. He is big boy now. He learned how to walk at 20 months old. He is talking, saying 2 word sentences, and being a monster. That is his name....MONSTER. He is so sweet and loving. He loves everyone. One day I'm sure he will be torchering you to. He has 2 modes. Sleeping and Mischif making.

He hardly stays still to get a good picture.

Daddy. He is a police officer at Groveland Police Department. He was worked there over 5 years. His department is very good to our family. They are always here for our family in time of need. Daddy was aiming for quadruplets....he may be disappointed at 1st if there is only ONE poppy seed instead of 3 or 4....I suspect there is only 1, but once again only time will tell. Daddy is crazy...you will soon learn this too. I can't even explain this crazyiness, you will just have to trust me on this.

Mommy. I am nervous and scared about how I will take care of you and your 2 brothers and sister. It would not be so hard if Jacob was not disabled. You are a secret for now. You daddy and I have a bet that I can not keep you a secret. He says if I keep you a secret he will rub my feet every night without complaining for 2 years. ha ha ha! He does not know this already, but I already cheated. I could not keep you to myself. I needed someone to talk to. 1st I told Ava...and you dad ofcourse. Then yesterday I told my friend Jill. I trust her to keep our little secret. Then later that evening I told my friend Tanya. She thinks we are crazy and she said she can not hang out with me anymore....she says this in only the most loving way.

I have not received very good feedback from anyone about having another child after the triplets were born. They actually asked me 3 times before the c-section if I wanted my tubes tied. Even when I knew I was going to have 4 childen 2 years and under while I was still pregnant with the triplets, I longed for more. I think any mom just wants that perfect pregnancy...Ava's birth was normal, but I was so scared, the triplets' birth was very stressful and there we so many unknown, ups, downs, etc. I felt like I was robbed of my pregnancy at 28 weeks. I honestly wanted to get pregnant again as soon as I could after they were born....it took a lot of common since thinking to make me NOT do this. I had an IUD placed September 2009. I had it taken out in January 2011. When all out family, my co-workers, and friends found out about the IUD removal, I got all the typical negative comments.."you can't handle another baby with Jacob", "what if you have multiples again?", "How will you afford it?", "Your crazy!", "why would you want more...3 is enough."...the list goes on. 1st off you will be our 5th child born alive. It is hard for me to include or not include Logan. I don't know what to say...but at the same time I hate when he is not counted as one of my children or when your brothers are called twins.

So here is the game plan. Mommy is a big girl. No one could tell hardly at all that I was pregnant with Ava. The triplets made me huge! I am nervous because I am 20 pounds fatter now than I was when I had your sister and brothers. We will be working on eating healthy before and after you are born. You must know I am very paranoid about you or your siblings being fat like me or your dad. Okay, back on track....you are a secret. Outside of my close friends NO ONE IS GOING TO KNOW as long as possible. My goal is to atleast make it until 24 weeks without anyone in our family knowing. I can't handle the grief from them about it right now. I want you! You dad wants FOUR for you!!!! (I told you he is crazy right?) So, we are taking it day by day to keep you and me healthy. Ha ha my goal in may will be "Hey, where did that kid come from?" Your Aunt Fiki says she will not watch you every other weekend if I get pregnant before the babies are 5...so we are working on a plan for that. Maybe mommy will stop working? I love you already